A City what?
by Vampia Lawyaa
Summary: what happens when rookie 9 and team Gai go to a city and ride a plane for the first time? this has slight naruhina but the main pairings are NaruHina. this story has humor more then romance btw so don't expect alot of romance since i suck at it xD
1. Chapter 1

Konoha is a really sweet place to live. It has nice weather, nice people, strong shinobi and a whole lot more. It's never boring when you can watch the kids at play. Everyone is happy, everyone is peaceful and having loads of fun!

Except one lady who hates being called ma'am, and of course we all know that lady. It's Tsunade.

The Fifth Hokage was sitting in her office in danger of dying out of boredom. She leaned on her chair and looked at the sky, thinking, thinking about something fun to do. The ninja matron wished she could think properly. There had been this annoying song stuck in her head since last week's ceremony, and it was all because of Naruto.

_FLASHBACK_

_Naruto was in the ceremony walking and enjoying __the festive__ time. __He__ was kind of hungry, and the ramen shop was closed because of the ceremony. __His stomach rumbled__ loudly and __he __looked around for some __restaurants__. __Thankfully__ it wasn't long 'til he found __one__. Or __at least__ that's what he thought._

_The confident twenty-something__ entered __what turned out to be __a bar, __whose obvious services __he didn't notice __owing to__ his __blinding __hunger. __Naruto__ sat and grinned at the bartender. "Oii! __Can I__ have something?" _

_The__ bartender blinked at __him__ and nodded. "__What__ do __you want, boy?" _

_Naruto grinned wider. "__Anything__! __Just__ make it satisfy my stomach!"_

_His host smirked__ and poured vodka in a glass __which he then handed to__ the ignorant intruder__. "__That__ should satisfy your brain and stomach," he said __meaningfully__._

_Oblivious, __Naruto __frowned__ and looked at the glass. "__Beh,__ what the hell." __He__ started drinking, __and soon the novice drinker decided__ he liked the taste of __this stuff, whatever it may be__. __He then__ kept on drinking and drinking __'til he found himself clutching at the slick wooden bar-top unsteadily and wondering why the room appeared to be spinning__._

_After paying his tab, the drunken jonin staggered__ from the bar. He started walking and smiling like an idiot as he __hiccupped__ every __few__ seconds._

_After drunkenly stumbling along for a while, he found himself__ at __a__ stage where __a__ band __in concert was __preparing for their __next __song._

_"Mina-saan, hope you enjoyed eating your 'peanut butter __and __jelly'! Now so you __can__ relax, we are going to sing a slow song!" a guy from the band __yelled into__ the mic._

_Naruto grinned. "Peanut butter… peanut butter jelly…" __The idea of singing and dancing seemed quite good right now, and__ he __vaulted up__ on stage and __tore__ the mic __away __from the __astonished musician__._

_Naruto grinned at the confused crowd, __and without further ado began belting out a tune__. "PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!" _

_He continued to sing while proceeding to do__ the chicken dance. "Where he at, where he at? Where he at? Oh there ya go!" _

_Sitting in her VIP seat at the front of the slack-jawed crowd, __Tsunade's __eye was twitching furiously as she felt a very clear and strong__ urge to kill __her precious student__. __In fact, when Naruto __started slapping his ass __in tune to__ the last part, __a lot__ of __never-before-dreamt-of__ death punishments popped __into__ her head._

_As oblivious to his impending execution as he was to virtually everything that didn't involve ninjitsu, __Naruto continued singing. "PEANUT BUTTER JEELLLY! PEANUT BUTTERR JELLLY!" he __brayed__ loudly as he __leaned down and yanked__ a girl from the crowd __up onstage. _

_As it turned out, this happened__ to be Hinata. The maiden__ blushed tomato red when Naruto held her hand and __crooned,__ "I like to move it move it!" _

_From out of nowhere,__ Lee then __vaulted onto__ the stage and __started harmonizing with his friend. __"I like to move __it__ move it!" __The melee master__ swaggered back and forth as__ he raised his thumb __victoriously__. _

_Not to be outdone by his pupil, Maito __Gai then jumped in and __suddenly there was a trio of happy morons rocking out for all the world to see._

_"WE LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT!"_

_Without warning, __Naruto then hugged Hinata from behind and started to__ slowly __sway__ with her __in a most intimate fashion, __which caused her __body to go limp and her__ pure __soul to __rise__ out from her mouth, __having finally found heaven__. _

_Before __the drunken blonde__ could __continue this unusual activity__, __he inexplicably found himself on the ground being bludgeoned by an irate __Haishi, __who was__ screaming,__ "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY DAUGHTER, __FREAK__?" _

_The Hyuga patriarch cursed and swore __as he punched Naruto harder, __while beside them __Hinata blinked at her father and spoke stuttering. "__Am__… an-o-o… __Father__, I can… __explain__?"_

_Of __course__ Haishi just kept on __pounding__ the __sobbing Naruto._

_END OF FLASHBACK_

Tsunade shivered when she remembered that. 'Peanut butter jelly, huh? And I was going to make him Hokage,' she thought to herself.

She then heard a laugh coming from outside the window. No big surprise, she had felt that Jiraiya was nearby the whole time, but was just too lazy to argue with him.

The spiky-haired loafer vaulted over the windowsill and smiled at his official superior. "Song still stuck, heh?" he asked. When Tsunade dropped her head and nodded, Jiraiya grinned. "Good, good."

She glowered in return. "What's good about it?"

Jiraiya shrugged. "Oh, nothing, nothing! You're bored, aren't you?"

Tsunade dropped her head on her desk and sobbed. "Tooo boooored!"

Her irrepressible admirer only laughed at the sight of their fearless leader, who had successfully faced the most vicious and dangerous of enemies in battle only to fall victim to the perils of running a community. "I got the perfect idea to snap you out of your funk," he grinned evilly.

Tsunade rested her hand on her chin and looked at him curiously "So?"

Jiraiya laced his hands behind his head in a lazy manner. "I was peeking at the girls in the hot springs, and overheard their conversation. To be honest, it's quiet interesting."

The matriarch's eyes narrowed. "You did _what__?"_

He quickly continued. "They spoke about a TV show that's going to be on pretty soon. We should sign the Rookie 9 and Team Gai into that show secretly."

Tsunade gave him a blank stare. "What's your point, Jiraiya?"

The dirty-minded menace leaned in and whispered conspiratorially. "You see, that TV show will secretly film them and pull funny traps on them, and when they fall for it, everyone will see it broadcast, including us!"

A widening of the eyes, and then a devilish smirk worked up his cohort's features. "Heeh? Interesting, indeed. So tell me all about this show."

"Well, the Rookie 9 and Team Gai never went to a city, yes? And never actually boarded a plane, am I right?"

Tsunade nodded.

"That TV show will give us tickets so the kids can travel to the USA, and you do know the States pretty well since you went gambling in Las Vegas."

He ducked as she swung a half-hearted punch at his head. "Don't ever mention that unlucky dump again. But I'll admit, it sounds interesting! Just the thing to cure me of boredom!"

Before she knew it the silver-haired sage was draped over the top of the desk with his eyes on level with her cleavage. "Don't I deserve a kiss?"

To his surprise, Tsunade smiled sweetly. "Yes, you do!"

Jiraiya could hardly believe his ears. The voluptuous woman then crooked a finger invitingly, and when he drew closer she whispered, "Close your eyes, Jiraiya."

Jiraiya's eyes widened but then snapped shut just as quickly. 'Finally! I made Tsunade fall for me' he thought to himself as perverted fantasies popped into his head.

Everything else melted away when he abruptly felt her kissing him.

'_Ahhh, now this was worth waiting for.'_

Jiraiya blissfully cracked an eyelid, to find himself face-to-face and lip-to-lip with Sai.

"NANNII?" Jiraiya screamed as he pushed the grinning ink-master away.

Tsunade laughed uproariously. "You baka, you actually thought I'll kiss you?"

Sai only grinned. "Gomen, Jiraiya-sama, Hokage-sama forced me to do this," he said calmly.

Jiraiya's eyes flooded with tears. He then sat in a corner and hugged his knees. "I hate you!" he yelled.

Tsunade grinned nervously. "He's doing the 'emo act' on me," she said with an anxious chuckle.

Sai turned to his mistress. "So, Hokage-sama, why did you call me here?"

In response, the Hogake leaned back in her chair and smiled. "I suppose you heard my conversation with Jiraiya, eh?"

Sai nodded.

"I want you to tell these people about the TV show: Kakashi, Anko, Kurenai, Gai, Asuma, Yamato, and Shizune. And when you do, tell all of Rookie 9 and Team Gai to come to my office. But DO NOT tell them about this show, understand?"

Sai nodded and smiled. "Right away, Hokage-sama." He then disappeared in a poof.

15 minutes later…

All Rookie Nine stood in the Hokage office, and they weren't happy at all since they just came back from a long, tiring mission. Naruto was the only one who was excited. "Eh, Baaaaa-chan! Please tell me it isn't a really low-rank mission?"

She ignored the title and put on her most pleasant smile as she leaned forward in her chair. "It's not really a mission, Naruto. Since you have all been having really exhausting missions these days, I thought I should reward you and give you tickets to travel to the USA, in Orlando, Florida!"

Everyone stared dumbfounded at Tsunade. Sakura then spoke. "Do they have a lot of shops there?"

The living legend nodded vigorously. "Yep."

Naruto crossed his arms. "Ramen?"

Another nod.

Sasuke leaned on the wall. "Itachi?"

Tsunade grinned nervously. "I .. don't know about that, Sasuke."

Neji sniffed. "A Jonin like me doesn't need rest. Excuse me, Hokage-sama, but I don't think I want to go."

The village chief cast Neji a deathly glare "Everyone is going, understood?"

The pale-eyed twenty-something swallowed hard. "Fine," he huffed and crossed his arms.

Tsunade chuckled. "Good. Now you have an hour to pack your stuff, you have to be at the airport in 2 hours. So hurry up!" she added sharply.

Shikamaru sighed. "Mendokuse… Godaime… who's supposed to watch over Azumi while Kurenai is resting and Asuma is on missions?"

Tsunade 'hmm'ed' and then spoke. "You could take her with you. Though be careful with her."

"Hai.. hai.." The genius tactician surrendered without a fight.

Tsunade glanced about at their faces. "Any questions?" Everyone shook their heads except Naruto. She cocked a weary eyebrow at him. "What is it, gaki?"

Naruto blinked. "So this isn't a mission?" he asked stupidly. Everyone sighed and shook their heads slightly at his trademark thick-headedness.

Before Tsunade could speak, Kakashi appeared in a puff of smoke. "Yaaaaah minaaa, of course there is a mission," he proclaimed easily.

Tsunade blinked. "Kakashi?"

The master shinobi turned and looked at her. "You do know who lives in the US, right?"

She considered this for a time and then let out a gasp. "OH!"

Kakashi smiled and fixed his single visible eye on his students. "Maybe it's time, don't ya think?"

His leader crossed her arms skeptically. "Probably."

The masked marvel turned to everyone "Well, I don't call this a mission, but you will probably meet someone interesting over there".

Lee perked up. "Who is it, Kakashi-sensei?"

Kakashi shook his head. "I am not supposed to say, although I can say that that person is as youthful as you." He then hoisted a thumbs-up. Lee's eyes glowed.

Tsunade blew out her breath and gave a wave of her hand. "Sai will be going with you guys as well, so now you are all dismissed!" Everyone nodded and left the office.

Sakura spoke to everyone before they headed for their houses to pack "Let's meet at the gates when you're all done, ok?" They nodded and departed for their separate destinations.

Up in the Hokage's office, Asuma, Kurenai, Shizune, Yamato and Anko all arose from their hiding places.

Anko grinned. "Heeeh, Hokage-sama, you're my idol now," she exclaimed loudly.

The beautiful blonde made a pooh-poohing motion. "It's not my idea, though. It's that baka's." She pointed, and all looked to the corner that Jiraiya was still sitting in and sobbing with a really depressed aura around him.

Anko grinned nervously and scratched the back of her head. Gai shuddered. "Well, either way, I have to thank you and Jiraiya-sama! Lee is going to have immense spirit training by going on this trip! Flames of youth always win!"

Tsunade then raised her hand to shush everyone. "We'll need a big couch, and an even bigger plasma TV in here." Her minions nodded, and the ringleader of this dastardly scheme grinned again. "We'll be watching them in here. Shizune, go buy the orders I am going to tell you right now, please." Shizune nodded in understanding.

O.O.o.O.O..O.o.o.o.o.o.O..!

All the assembled teams as well as Sai were done with packing and now assembled before the gates. Shikamaru sighed loudly. "So, where's this airport Godaime talked about?"

Naruto was dancing from one foot to another and shadow-boxing, but stopped to answer. "Baa-chan gave me a map to where it is!"

Shikamaru looked at the map and scratched his head. "Well, let's go."

They started walking according to where the directions indicated. The weather was clear and bright, well-suited for a brand new journey. Kiba leapt into the air and gave a joyous shout. "Heh! I am so going to let the girls over there fall for my charm."

Ino sweat-dropped. "What charm are you talking about? With that dog breath you'll only attract different breeds of mutts."

The rowdy youth merely yawned. "Yeah, right."

x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x..x.x.x.x.x.

Tsunade sat on the couch and flicked on the plasma TV. Jiraiya flopped down beside her, gleeful with anticipation. "Heeh, it started!"

_"Minaa-san! It's time for your favorite show! Today an old guy signed these people secretly to our show! We'll drive them crazy, and you laugh!"_

The Toad Sage's excitement dimmed somewhat. "Old guy... pef."

Kurenai craned her head at the screen. "They don't look like they're doing well."

Asuma laughed with his arm draped around her shoulders. "They have only an hour to arrive at the airport, they'll totally miss their plane."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Everyone was a little surprised at where the map got them, not to mention disappointed. Sasuke glanced around with open contempt. "Baka, we are in the jungle! Is that even a map? Give me that!" He snatched the map away and looked at it. His eyes narrowed down to slits and he glanced around uncertainly. "Do you think… this is the airport?" he said.

Shikamaru spoke while squatting to examine a brightly colored flower. "I never went to an airport, don't ask me."

"How can you act so calm?" Ten-Ten stamped her foot. "We're lost and going to starve to death out here in this untamed wilderness!"

"HAHAHAHA! We have visitors!"

The two teams looked at one another as if to ask who had spoken, then slowly turned to look behind them.

Not a one of them knew what to make of it when they saw themselves confronted by people holding sticks and wearing diapers.

Neji narrowed his eyes. "Excuse me, is this the airport?" he asked.

"HA HA HA! You are a funny young man!" The one speaking turned to his men. "Catch them!"

The next thing they knew, all of the ninja were tied together back-to-back. "Ok, seriously, what do you want?" Kiba said, annoyed.

Their captor only threw back his head and laughed some more. "You can't leave unless you do something for us! To entertain us!"

Kiba threw up a little in his mouth. "Eww, dude, I ain't gonna strip for ya! Although Sasuke might since he decided to work as a stripper."

His teammate gave a jolt in his bound position. "What the heck Kiba -.-!"

The stranger rubbed his eyes and gritted his teeth. He then spoke in a more normal and somewhat tired tone of voice. "Entertain us by doing something stupid that might make us laugh. Nothing over PG-13."

Ino considered this. "Well, the clown in here is Naruto."

Tied up at her back, Naruto sobbed. "I am only baka, not a clown!"

"One's the same as another in my book," Sakura muttered.

"AH!" Hinata yelped. "S-someone just touched me!"

"We're roped together, I couldn't help it," TenTen flushed in embarrassment.

"ECCHI!"

At this point everyone started to argue and complain loudly. Their diaper-clad attackers glanced between one another and shrugged helplessly.

"Fine," Shino said calmly, his quiet voice startling his teammates. "Since no one is going to do this, and our plane is going to leave in 45 minutes, I will have to volunteer."

Every one of the students blinked and said in the same time, "Shino O.O?"

"I forgot he was with us," Naruto whispered.

Shino's shoulders tensed upon hearing this. The head bandit only laughed evilly, back to his villainous persona. "Fine, untie them." His men nodded and moved to comply.

Shino took a deep breath and started removing all his clothes except for his underwear. Everyone seemed uncomfortable at that, even the diaper-men. They sweat-dropped even more when he slide his underwear a little causing his butt to show a crack.

The gruff youth sighed and cleared his throat, then proceeded to sing in a loud voice that made everyone jump. "_Oh __I__ am a guummmy Bear, Yess ma a Gummy bear, Oh __I __am a yummy jummy lovely lucky gummy bear." _

All this was done in a CUTE voice (use your imagination xD) as he started dancing the cha-cha. The students' collective jaws fell when they saw that, though back in Konoha everyone laughed their heads off. Especially Tsunade and Anko.

Shino then started jumping like a rabbit. "_Ooooh __I __am a lovely dovey Gummy bear! Bai ding ba doli party! Bamm bing dolli party beding ba doli PARTY party pop!"_ He pranced and shook his rump. _"I'm a jelly bear, cause am a gummy bear! Oh __I'm__ movin' singing groovin' jammin' singing gummy bear! Ohh yaooooh"_

The scary men laughed and pounded one another on the backs. Shino then stopped his performance and attempted to muster some dignity. "I did something stupid. Now please, let us go. We have 35 minutes left to locate the airport." He started donning his clothes.

Their captor nodded approvingly. "Fine, you can leave. But if we see you people here again, we will have to make you do things that will render you unfit for human company. Oh, by the way, in case you're interested, the airport is over there."

He hiked a thumb over his shoulder, where a mammoth international airport sprawled amidst the jungle in clear view of where they sat, planes taking off and landing with loud roars.

There was the sound of numerous head-plants. Sai just grinned. "Oh , aren't we stupid?" he said.

-..-..-..-

In the Aburame house…

Shino's father blinked when he saw the TV, complete with Shino dancing and singing. In spite of everything, he couldn't help but chuckle. "Well, kids, seems like your brother has decided to work at scaring the public with his handsome tush." He shook his head slightly.

*o* *o* *o*

Tsunade held her stomach while she laughed. "I... I never knew Shino could sing!"

Kurenai wiped tears from her eyes. "I am his sensei and still never knew."

Back with Rookie 9 and the others…

Kiba laughed loudly as he and the others resumed their trip towards the airport. "SHINOO! I never knew you could _sing!_ HAHA, 'specially not that song!"

Shino kept right on walking, face hidden beneath his shades and hood. "Kiba, I believe what happened today will never leave your mouth, right?"

A chill swept over the group, and Kiba swallowed hard. "Fine, fine…"

Hinata smiled timidly. "But Shino-kun, you really saved us."

Shino nodded at her praise. "Then I am glad."

Naruto edged closer to Hinata. "Eh, Hinata? This is the first time I heard your voice in a while." He grinned.

The dark-haired girl blushed and giggled. "Oh, is that so?"

Naruto blinked incredulously. "And that's the first time ever I heard you laugh."

Hinata turned even more red and covered her mouth. Observing this, Naruto beamed at her. "Kawaiiii!" he said loudly.

She just looked at the ground, smiling and trying not to faint.

Shikamaru yawned. "Well, we're here, guys."

Everyone looked at the crowded, bustling airport. Ino tapped a finger against her chin thoughtfully. "How come we never noticed this before?"

Neji nodded sagely. "Probably because we are shinobi. Trained to see what is difficult to see, which makes it harder to notice stuff that isn't."

Lee strode forward. "YOSH! Then let's enter!" They all nodded and followed him inside.

Sakura peered around the high-ceilinged complex nervously. "Well, where do we go now?"

Shikamaru looked at the place and 'hmmed'. "Well, Godaime told me what to do once we're in here. We should go over there, the bag checking."

They nodded and started walking.

"HALT!"

The warriors of Konoha obeyed. A policeman wearing a nametag that read 'Jake' strode up to them and spoke. "Everyone, please put your hands up."

Some looks were exchanged, but they did as he asked.

"You kids look suspicious to me." The officer's eyes raked over the weirdly-dressed bunch. "You're going to have to submit to an inspection."

Without further ado, Jake started patting down Sakura, which caused her to gasp and jump off the ground. "PERVERT!" she yelled and planted her fist in his mouth.

"Yeah, been there," Naruto chuckled.

Jake clutched his bleeding mouth and spluttered, "I was checking if there were any concealed weapons, not…! Whatever, just walk through this machine and it will tell if you have weapons or not." He gestured towards a metal detector.

Everyone entered and of course they had numerous

kunai, which they disposed of in a growing pile at the disbelieving guard's feet. But when it came to TenTen's turn, those who knew her grew anxious. Jake shook himself out of his daze and spoke to the classically-dressed girl. "Take out all of your weapons, please."

TenTen sighed. "Hai hai." She then started pulling out kunai and handing them over to Jake. After that came a brace of throwing stars, pointed pins, darts, chakram, a couple of tanto daggers, and other assorted weapons from her bag, pockets, sleeves, hair and shoes. Over 100 lethal implements later, she crossed her arms and looked at the gaping security guard. "So?"

Jake recovered quickly. "Walk through that machine again, please."

She did, and without fail the metal detector gave a loud beep. The rest of the class glared at her.

"Ah, FINE!" The blade specialist removed 5 kunai from her bra, which made everyone sweat-drop. "Just take good care of my babies, 'kay?" she said as she gazed wistfully at her weapons.

Jake flashed a nervous grin. "Okii… you all may go."

Kiba peered around, sniffing as they strolled through the food court. "So now what?"

Shikamaru took out the tickets and looked at them. "Well, we still have 5 minutes, we are supposed to go... to Gate B… left building. Follow me," he said as he whispered to himself, "Mendokuse (troublesome)."

5 minutes later…

A trail of carnage was left in their wake. Noodles and overturned chairs littered the eating area. Fast-food vendors shouted and complained to flustered security personnel about vicious dog-boys and girls with voracious appetites. Nonetheless, they all arrived at the plane and sat in their seats, two per aisle. Several girls insisted on sitting next to the window, and since the guys thought it better if each girl had a guy next to her, that was how the sitting arrangements fell out.

With a little maneuvering on the parts of their comrades, that put Naruto next to Hinata.

Sasuke sat with Sakura, the pink-haired girl claiming the window seat.

Shikamaru wound up next to Ino, the boy next to the window so he could sleep without falling into the aisle, though he had to engage in a vicious fight with her for the seat.

Neji took his place with TenTen. There was no dispute as to who sat where. Hinata's relative knew when to pick his battles, and gave up the spot with the best view to his companion. He didn't want to wind up with a plastic fork shoved in his eye while he slept, after all.

Shino next to Sai since there were no more girls. Sai got the window so he could use the light to draw.

Akamaru sat next to a person nobody knew. luckily that person is stupid enough to not notice that Akamaru is actually a dog

Kiba was happy to find himself sitting next to a cute girl named Misaki.

Naruto turned from peering out the window to spy at Hinata, who was blushing a lot. "Eh, Hinata? If you want to sit next to the window, I don't mind."

She shook her head quickly. "No, it's ok, I don't mind sitting here."

The young hero blinked. "Well, why's your face so red?" Without waiting for a reply he touched her forehead in a clinical manner. Hinata blushed even more. Naruto 'hmm'ed' and took his hand away. "Ya seem fine. Though if you feel tired, pretend as if I was a pillow and lay your head on my shoulder, neh?" He patted that spot on his body and smiled.

Hinata turned away, trying to hide the pleasure that thought gave her. "Arigato, Naruto-kun," she said.

Tsunade shoved a handful of popcorn into her mouth and chewed slowly. "Well, that's interesting. Seems like gaki and Hinata are gonna be a couple soon indeeeeeeeed."

Jiraiya nodded, absorbed in the program. "Gaki is now 23, hopefully he won't do something stupid."

Kurenai grinned nervously "I bet Haishi is destroying his TV by now."

And it's true, Haishi is destroying his set at this very moment. "UZUMAKI NARUTOOO! I'LL KILL YOU!" he yelled while frothing at the mouth.

Hanabi laughed nervously. "Dad, she's 22, let her have a love life already," she advised.

Her parent spun about and directed tear-filled eyes at his remaining daughter. "Like you and Konohamaru?"

Hanabi sweat-dropped. "Oh... shimatta (crap)… you know about that, heh? Okiii I think I have a mission, bye daddy!" She quickly disappeared

T_T T_T T_T

The plane was now in the air, and of course the secluded ninja were shocked and scared. They all screamed (yes, including Neji and Sasuke). But sadly Shino and Sai proved the only ones who kept their cool. A hostess came and gave everyone water. Naruto and Neji appreciated this service the most.

Naruto cast a quick look out the window and regretted it instantly. "Ahhh, how come no one told us that the plane flies!" he cried while keeping his eyes scrunched tight. Hinata took note of how rigidly he was gripping the arms of his seat and grinned nervously "It's ok, Naruto-kun, we're safe in here."

Her champion forced a sickly smile and nodded. He then clutched his stomach. "I NEED BATHROOM!" he yelled.

The hostess came. "Oh you want the bathroom? It's over there." She pointed to the rear of the plane.

Neji looked at where the hostess indicated; he also felt the result of all that water he had consumed earlier, so he quickly leapt up and sprinted to the bathroom before anyone else. Naruto gasped and tore off in pursuit. "NEJI, THE BATHROOM IS MINE!" he yelled as he jumped atop his opponent knocking, him to the ground. The victorious fox-ninja quickly stood up and strode to claim his spoils. "HAH! Take that!" he yelled.

Neji observed the door click shut forlornly.

Naruto sighed and looked about the bathroom. "Wow… too small" he said as he sat on the toilet and started doing his business. When he finished, he flushed the toilet... though, because of his supreme stupidity, when he flushed he was still sitting, so ... he couldn't get up because the suction had taken hold.

"WHAT? THE TOILET IS TRYING TO EAT MY ASS! HELP!" he yelled as he tried to stand up.

Dancing frantically in the corridor, Neji couldn't help but chuckle. 'Serves you right, gaki,' he thought to himself.

The stewardess quickly ran up and tried opening the door. When she succeeded, she could only stare. Neji laughed in delight, whilst Naruto glowered red-faced. "What? You never seen a naked guy on the toilet? Come on, help me!"

The hostess grinned nervously and nodded.

Elsewhere, Tsunade lost all composure when she saw Naruto, laughing so hard that she choked on the popcorn. "Jiraiya! You made the same mistake when it was our first flight! HA HA, I'll never forget about that!"

Jiraiya was squirming uncomfortably with the memory. "You didn't have to mention that Tsunade..." He sighed in commiseration with Naruto.

After 15 minutes of trying to get Naruto out of the toilet…

Neji cast a triumphant look at Naruto. "Baka," he sneered. The other man just sobbed and sat on his seat.

Hinata was somewhat flustered by this situation. "Ano-o… Naruto-kun... you ok?" she said softly.

Naruto huddled in on himself, still traumatized by the experience. "The toilet tried eating my butt," he whimpered.

His comely comrade grinned nervously. "Well… it didn't… eat your... yeah."

Naruto sniffed and quickly decided on something. "I need a hug."

He then hugged Hinata tightly, not noticing the way all the blood rushed up to her head causing the young woman to lose her previous battle with consciousness and promptly pass out.

"Heh? Hinata?" He sighed and released his hold in favor of laying her head on his shoulder, still weeping at his indignity though.

Meanwhile, Neji entered the bathroom like a triumphant conqueror, only to be disappointed at the small size of his conquest. A lingering odor made him hold his nose in disgust. 'What the hell does Naruto eat anyways? Agh,' he thought to himself, then locked the door and did his business.

When he was done, he looked at the door. And kept on looking.

And looking.

After three minutes, the maverick groaned and dropped his head.

'I don't know how to unlock this door.'

Neji stared at the flat surface again and swore in frustration. 'This door is too complicated, dammit!' he shouted mentally.

30 minutes of staying in the bathroom...

Neji was half-dead because of the smell. His soul was flown out from his mouth.

TenTen had grown worried, so she got up and knocked on the door. "Nejiiiiii, why are you taking so long?" she asked.

The trapped youth perked up and felt absurdly happy. "Finally someone noticed my disappearance!"

TenTen blinked. "So?"

Neji sweat-dropped. "Well... I know it's silly... but... I don't know how to unlock the door," he blurted out nervously.

The hostess heard Neji and burst into a fit of giggles. TenTen stared, and the poor woman gasped out, "I am… very sorry. It's just funny that you stayed this long in the bathroom because you don't know how to unlock the door!"

Neji blushed in embarrasement


	2. Chapter 2

Chapt. 2.

It's another wonderful day in Suna. Everything is perfect! No problems, just a peaceful day. It's thanks to the Kazekage that everything is peaceful.

Gaara had been working his head off. No particular reason why. He just felt like working hard. So now everything was perfect. He completed all of the paperwork that he was supposed to finish before the end of this month. There hadn't been a chance to watch TV lately, so the Sand Demon found himself wondering what was on.

He just needed a nice long rest. A good thing that one of Suna's strongest shinobi was here.

Everybody needed a day off.

Gaara sighed and leaned back in his chair. He grew alert when the door opened and in came a grinning Temari. The wary young man blinked at his elder sis. "Temari?" he said calmly.

She wore a particularly nasty smile. "Gaara! You've been working your head off these days, right? RIGHT?"

He gave her an uncertain look but nodded.

Temari struck a triumphant pose. "I just got tickets to the USA! I won it in the lottery!"

The redhead stared fixedly, his pale blue eyes never flickering. "So? If you expect me to dance then I am sorry, I cannot do that."

His elder fidgeted nervously. "Just hear me out, will you? Since one of our strongest shinobi is in town, make him a Kazekage for now, so you can come with me and Kankuro to Orlando, Florida!"

Gaara considered the merits of this invitation. "... Do you know who lives there?" He swallowed hard.

Temari's face went blank. "What do you mean?"

The reformed maniac smiled and poked two fingers together nervously like Hinata does.

Temari scrunched up her eyes as realization dawned. "Oh God, please don't tell me you're still scared of 'him'?"

In response, Gaara shuddered. "It isn't my fault really. He's too... cheerful for me -.-"

She crossed her arms and assumed a determined look. "Come on Gaara, you need rest! We'll have fun there! And guess what? Shikamaru won't be there!" Temari grinned happily and danced ballet.

Gaara mumbled under his breath. "Why didn't I just stay in the dark side? They always gave me cookies -.-"

Temari grinned and skipped over to stand before him. "So whadda ya say?"

Gaara stood up and sighed. "Fine. We will go. We're supposed to go by plane, right?"

Temari nodded vigorously. "Of course, now come on!" She grabbed Gaara's hand and started dragging him along. The young man put up no resistance.

"Hai hai.."

~.~.~.~.~

Kakashi sat on the couch snickering in a way that got everyone suspecting he was planning

something evil. Tsunade studied him warily as she ate popcorn. "Kakashi? What's up with your evil little giggle?"

Kakashi turned a devious look her way. "Oh, I just sent tickets to Suna."

"Tickets?" Jiraiya frowned uncertainly.

Kakashi only rocked back and forth in his seat. "Oh, they will be on the show as well. Gaara and his siblings are heading to the USA this very minute."

No one responded to this revelation with anything more than raised eyebrows or a grunt of understanding. Sitting in their midst, kind-hearted Shizune wore a glum expression. "Why am I surrounded by evil people?"

~.O.~.O.~.o

In the planeee~~~

The flight had been proceeding for five hours. No weird stuff happened, except Naruto decided it was okay to fart in a plane since no one would know who did it. **(Now we finally know what caused the plane to explode on 'Lost') **The poor people had to breathe from the emergency oxygen masks. Rookie 9 and Team Gai were used to it so they just gritted their teeth and powered on through.

In this tranquil but boring setting, the television show people finally decided to make their move!

The hostess emerged and smiled one of her biggest smiles. "Attention passengers. Just to inform you, there are some problems with the plane, but don't worry, we will fix them right away! We will land in Amsterdam Airport in 5 minutes. Please fasten your seatbelts."

Shikamaru yawned, while at the same time casting a suspicious eye around the compartment. "Something is fishy in here."

Ino regarded him with surprise. "What do you mean?"

He turned a cold and disturbing look on her. "I feel like we'll meet a disaster in Amsterdam."

Ino chewed her lip, then shrugged and turned back to her in-flight magazine. "You think too much, Shikamaru."

The super-genius offered no further predictions, only sighed and shook his head.

~(-...-)~

Kankuro sighed in relief as he sank into the airport chair, then remembered why they were here and cast a furious glance at his dead-eyed associate. "AHHHH! God's sake, GAAARAA! For once in your life, show some restraint and don't scare people like that! That was the pilot, and we're supposed to be in the USA in 9 hours! But nuuuuuu, you had to terrify the guy flying the plane 'til he's curled up in a ball pale as a ghost, and now we're stuck in Amsterdam Airport… baah!"

The fearsome-looking ninja griped as he combed his fingers furiously through his puppet hair. Gaara merely remained rooted to his chair, arms crossed and staring straight ahead.

Temari rested her legs on the seat before her and smiled. "Well, at least we can walk around in the airport and buy anything we like."

Kankuro slumped gloomily back down. "Temariii, don't try to comfort me! We don't know anything about cities or airports."

Gaara scratched the back of his head. "We'll manage. I am just happy to go on a vacation with my siblings." He then smiled in a surprisingly normal way.

Temari blinked and quickly nudged Kankaru. "Oi, Kankaru... did Gaara just smile?"

Wearing a shocked expression, the painted poltergeist swallowed hard. "Yeah, I think he tried smiling! If he… if he tried harder... I think he'll be more creepy than just now."

Suddenly Kankuro heard a sound coming from his bag. It sounded like a 'quack'. He blinked and opened it, and there! A cute Duckie came out of it. "Quakk!" the duck yelled.

Kankuro reared back and shrieked. "Baaaaaah! This duck!"

Leaning over to observe the conflict, Temari offered him a pitying look. "Why did you bring a duck with you?"

He sighed in response. "See, that's the thing… I didn't bring it with me! That stupid duck was following me when I was packing my clothes. It thinks I am its mother!" Kankuro glared at the offending avian.

Gaara observed this scene. "Well, I am hungry, can we cook it?"

His big sister laughed. "We can't eat it! And Kankuro, maybe if you stopped stealing my makeup and dropped that stupid duck hoodie maybe then duckies will stop mistaking you for their moms."

Before Kankuro could speak, Gate B opened and people started walking out of it.

Temari shivered suddenly. She turned and stared, feeling something familiar to her. She then sniffed the air. "Oh my God... I smell... oh good God, no... don't tell me..." she said as she frantically scanned the incoming crowd.

Naruto and company got out from Gate B and gasped because of the airport size.

Shikamaru cricked his neck back and forth, feeling cramped and tired from the experience of flying for the first time. "Well, they gave us new tickets. Our plane will be in 4 hours, so…" He stopped when he heard a girl screaming his name.

"SHIKAMARU! AH, I KNEW IT!"

Shikamaru blinked and turned, blinked again… and again... and again. He then dropped his head in utter dejection. "Ahhh Inooo, didn't I tell you we will meet a disaster in this airport?" The crestfallen warrior mumbled under his breath, 'Mendokuse.'

Temari stormed up to him and glowered down at the back of his ponytail. "Who you calling a disaster?" she yelled.

Shikamaru came upright. "Just... whatever, what're you guys doing here anyways?"

"Godaime forced us to go on a vacation," Kankuro sidled up to them, "but some problems happened with the plane, so we're going on another flight."

Temari looked suspiciously between the two groups. "What's your flight number?"

Shikamaru knew what was coming and didn't even have the energy to feel bad about it. "T12."

Temari's eyes went blank. "Ah, that's the same flight as us... nightmare." She moaned and slumped forward disconsolately.

Before Shikamaru could commiserate, they heard Gaara's screaming. Not a really male scream, at that.

All turned and looked at Gaara, though quickly regretted doing so when they saw what was standing next to him.

Barney the Big Purple Dinosaur laughed and shook his tail as he loomed over the horrified sand ninja.

"Hoohoho! Aren't you cute, little fella?" The children's television star patted Gaara's head.

The menacing jonin then proceeded to beat his own skull against the wall.

"…Why am I so hated..." he said quietly.

Barney blinked his great big animatronic eyes. "I don't hate you! I love you! You love me! We are one big happy family!" The costumed clown sang as he held Gaara's left hand. His victim just stood there silent and fuming.

"With a big, big hu-"

And there! Gaara killed Barney.

The blood-soaked killer stood up from his latest victim and sighed happily. 'That... that was scary,' he thought as he cleaned himself off of the remains with sand.

Temari sighed and patted her brother's head. "There, there, it's ok, he's dead now."

Gaara shuddered as they left the scene. "He's supposed to be in the USA, not in Amsterdam." She guided him to the corner and left him to sulk.

Sasuke couldn't help but stare at this display. "Is .. is that really the Gaara that I fought with in Chuunin exams?"

Kankuro nodded brightly. "He's just stressed out because of paperwork and… yeah, you know. His brain is damaged for now. He'll be back to normal soon."

Naruto remained firmly oblivious to anything that had happened. "Well! Guys! I am hungry! So me and Hinata are going to look for something to eat! Right, Hinata?"

His chosen partner glanced around, bewildered. "I... don't think we agreed on that, but… umm... ok?"

"Yosh! I'll see you guys later."

Before he could leave, Sai held his shoulder. Naruto blinked and looked at the older man. "What? You're not trying to kiss, me are you?"

Sai merely smiled. "No. But Hokage-sama gave me something that we should use if we split up."

x_x x_x x_x

In Konoha...

Everyone was gaping in stunned amazement at the televised murder they had just witnessed. Tsunade recovered first and cleared her throat. "Good God... who knew Gaara was scared of Barney?"

"Well, we have an evil Author." Kakashi turned and saluted the person writing these words.

The Hokage then bounced up excitedly. "EH, look! The phones! I told Sai before he leaves to give one to each of them! It's a really annoying phone."

Jiraiya felt a horrible premonition creep over him. "Is it that phone that calls people without you dialing then cuts off so they call back and then accuse you of calling them right before they curse you and hang up?"

She gave him a 'V' for victory. "Yes, that's it. But this one is powerful! The show workers probably have evil plans in mind."

Kakashi shook his head in admiration. "Ah, if they knew you did this to them..."

"Meh, don't worry, I'll take care of that easily." And the vicious vixen went back to watching her new favorite show.

Back in the airrrrrport…

Naruto's eyes scrunched in intense concentration. "'Mo- 'what' something?"

Sai produced phones for everyone. "These are mobiles, in case you get lost you should call any one of us."

Naruto took the orange phone. "Ehhhhhhhhh awesome! Thanks, baa-chan!" He gave Hinata the lavender mobile and started walking to look for a good restaurant.

Ten minute later, the pair of them were slumped down by a fountain. Naruto's hunger meant he was now about as energetic as a garden slug. "I don't think there is a good place to eat dattebayo... where do you think is a good place to eat, Hinata?"

Unmatched eyes swept around the brightly-lit space. "Welll... what about this one?" She pointed at a Chinese restaurant.

The blue-eyed battler leapt upright, revitalized by the prospect of food. "Chineseeee food! Yeah, now we're talking! Come on, Hinata." He grabbed hold of Hinata's wrist and started dragging her swiftly to the restaurant.

Hinata's choice of eatery proved to be small but well-maintained with a brightly decorated Oriental atmosphere. They both sat and grinned at each other. The approaching waiter was kind of surprised by Naruto's clothes since there was too much orange (though at least it's not like before. Now he wears his orange pants and oily colored shirt with the Konoha symbol on it).

The waiter recovered from having his retina burned by all that orange. "So, what can I get for you guys?"

Naruto considered the menu, which was rendered illegible owing to it being written in a foreign language. "I never really paid attention in English class" Naruto said as he grinned nervously and scratched the back of his course he is from Japan so he doesn't understand english pretty well, specially since he never paid attention to english class.

Hinata giggled at his confusion. "Well, you're lucky I do pay attention in English class." She then looked at the waiter and spoke in English._ "We're still looking at the menu, when we finish we'll call you." _And she smiled.

Their server nodded and left. Naruto gaped in astonishment. "Ehhhh, Hinata! You're awesome!" he said as he flashed a massive grin.

Hinata blushed at the compliment. "You should've paid attention to English class, though."

He pouted in a most immature manner. "Beeh, Asuma-sensei teaching English is boring, so I never paid attention to it."

Outside the resturant…

Sai was giving everyone their numbers, already itching to get to work! He snickered maliciously. "I am going to test this mobile," he said with his famous grin.

Sakura didn't see why the prospect of calling someone would cause him so much joy. "Then test it."

Their chaperone clutched the device lovingly in his hand. "I want you all to look at Naruto." Everyone looked at Naruto through the window of the restaurant.

Sai dialed the number aaaaand...

Inside the resturant…

Naruto looked down at his mobile. "Oii .. why is it ringing?"

"I think that means someone is calling you."

Naruto picked up his mobile and 'hmm'ed'. "I'll press this green button." Naruto did so and blinked at the phone. "Mmm... hello?" he said.

Sai grinned and spoke. "Penis Penis Peniss!"

Naruto's eyes widened and he quickly fell from the chair. "WHAT THE HELL, SAI?" he yelled. His phone was on speaker, so everyone heard it. Hinata blushed and covered her face to hide her giggle.

Elsewhere, Sai smiled and closed the phone. "Yep, my phone is working indeed," he said with a satisfied smirk.

Sakura looked at him nervously. "Sai, I really envy you... you have this natural teasing ability."

"Why, thank you, ugly."

The young lady was undisturbed. "I am getting used to this," she said as she looked at Sasuke.

Kiba sighed loudly. "So we still have 3 hours 'til our flight. What should we do?"

Sasuke pondered, then raised his head resolutely. "I'll go read books." And by that, he meant 'Icha Icha Paradise.' The lone wolf set off towards the book shop.

"I need some vitamins," Sakura decided. "Tsunade-sama told me she wanted me to buy her... oh, boots!" And she made a beeline to the shoe shop. Ino followed her of course.

Kiba peered about at the suddenly smaller group. "Where's everyone else anyways?"

"Oh, I saw Neji and TenTen go that way, and Lee is lecturing that little girl about youth." Sai scratched the back of his head.

He then looked pointedly at Gaara and Kankuro.

Kankuro stood by his still-shuddering sibling, glowering down at him. "You're unbelievable. You're Sabaku no Gaara, yet you're scared of a fake dino? Beeh, you suck, dude."

Gaara twitched an eye and crossed his arms. "Kankuro, I used to like Barney when I was a kid, but then... when I grew up… I started having nightmares about Barney staring at me while I am taking a shower -.- you should know how I feel -.-"

His brother looked around nervously to make sure no one else had heard that. "You're such a baby," he said as he combed his puppet hair.

"At least I don't play with dolls," Gaara smirked.

Kankuro gave him an offended look. "That's not a doll."

Watching this brotherly feud, Kiba shook himself and turned back to Sai. "What about Shikamaru, Azumi and Temari?"

Sai pointed at the relaxation chair area.

Temari sighed and looked at the roof while the massaging cushions did their work. "Why do you hate me?"

Shikamaru lay down and turned his back on her. "Because you're a mendokuse woman."

Her face tightened. "I wasn't talking to you, baka," she said as she crossed her arms. Temari then looked at the little girl next to Shikamaru. "Who's this little girl, anyway? Your daughter?"

He closed his eyes purposefully. "She's Asuma-sensei's daughter. Kawaii (cute), isn't she?"

Temari stifled a giggle. "Yep." Unbeknownst to Shikamaru, Azumi was cutting his hair a little while he lay peacefully. Temari felt herself starting to like this little girl.

"Ahh forget it, I am going to wander around," Kiba said as he left Sai and Shino alone. Sai grinned. "So? Shino, is it? Do you like cheese?"

Inside the restaurant…

Naruto was still down on the floor cursing Sai. Hinata got up and extended her hand for him to grab it. "Naruto-kun, are you ok?" she said with a smile.

Her dimwitted crush sighed, accepting her help to stand up. "Eh, arigatou, Hinata," he said with a grin as he sat down again."That Sai... never changes. -.O"

Hinata giggled. "Sai-san is pretty nice with me, though."

"That's probably because you're too nice and cute to make fun off."

Abashed, Hinata quickly spoke to cover her joy. "Ah, umm, Kurenai-sensei told me about this Chinese food before… specifically she talked about this shrimp." She pointed at the name on the menu.

Naruto studied the incomprehensible letters, then tossed aside his menu cheerfully. "Yosh! Fine with me!"

Hinata called for the waiter and told him their orders, and as soon as he left Naruto spoke. "I wonder why Baa-chan suddenly decided to force us to go on a vacation," he said as he rested his hand on his cheek.

The nervous brunette toyed with her napkin. "She did say because we've been in a lot of missions lately."

A miserable groan came from her companion. "But I want to go on missions!"

She smiled tenderly at his enthusiasm. "I read a book on the plane about the USA and cities, it's pretty fun there."

Naruto looked up. "Oh, so that's what you were reading! To be honest, Hinata… you actually became like Kakashi-sensei over the years." He grinned nervously.

"I have?" Hinata thought about this comment, and Naruto nodded.

"You read books a lot! Even though you're not reading 'Icha Icha Paradise', but you're always late with your students, you like to tease them... that's like Kakashi-sensei!"

The young tutor giggled helplessly. "They are kawaii when I make them mad!" She made an innocent face.

Naruto was about to go on with his realization, but before he could speak the waiter came and brought them their shrimp. "Enjoy your meal, eh?" the waiter said with a smile as he walked away. Naruto and Hinata blinked at the shrimp. It was orange. That is, the sauce was orange.

Naruto poked his food warily. "Hinataaa, taste it and tell me if it's good."

Hinata blinked but nodded. She took the chopsticks and picked up a shrimp. It smelled really good. She opened her mouth and popped it in. Hinata chewed... and chewed... and chewed...

Suddenly... her face went red... tooooo red!

"Ehhhhhh, Hinataa? Your face is turning to fire-ball red," Naruto stated, entranced by this sight.

Slowly her left eyelid twitched and her eyes rolled up.

"Ehh, Hinataa, you ok?"

Sloooowly smoke started drifting out from her ears.

Her lunch date leaned forward. "Hinata? You smoke? I never knew that you smoked."

"H... hot," she said quietly. She then leapt upright. "It's too _hot! _I need WATER!" Hinata gasped as she grabbed her glass and chugged it.

Naruto chuckled. "Hehe. Hinata, that's the funniest face you ever made. So how was the shrimp?"

The girl sighed gratefully and sank back down. "It's good!"

"Then... ITADIKIMAAAAASUUU," Naruto declared as he took his chopsticks and scooped up a shrimp.

After 3 chews... his face started going red. "AHH! IT'S HOT!" He spat out the shrimp and dove for his water. Hinata giggled. Naruto looked at her with tear-filled eyes. "Hinata... why didn't you tell me it's that hot?"

She simply smiled. "It wouldn't be fair if I burned my tongue and you didn't. I forgot that Kurenai-sensei mentioned it's a hot shrimp."

Having doused his tongue, he adopted a hearty grin. "Ehh... well, it does taste good anyway." Hinata grinned and nodded

In other place at the same time...

Neji entered the bathroom and looked around suspiciously. "I hope this bathroom is better then the plane's." He had just entered a stall and was reaching for his zipper when a human head popped up from the toilet and screamed.

The fearless fighter took one look and bolted from the room. "FOR GOD'S SAKE, THESE BATHROOMS!" he said as he stomped angrily away.

Next victim was Sasuke...

Sasuke entered the bathroom, and of course 'Icha Icha Paradise' was in his hand. Before he could do his business, the man's head popped up again screaming.

Sasuke stood and stared at the dude with his head poking out of the toilet.

"I am still going to crap on you," he stated as he turned and pulled down his trousers.

The man gave a start. "Oi, oiii, no seriously dude, I'll die ... .wait, WAIIT" And there ya go. Sasuke pooped on the poor guy's head.

In Konoha...

Jiraiya and… well, everyone laughed their heads off. "I .. I like that kid!"

An unknown voice agreed. "Sasuke-sensei is the man!"

Tsunade turned to regard the boy who had spoken as well as some other new faces. "Oii ... Takumi, Kida, Shintanii... when did you guys come in?"

Takumi grinned. "Oh, we were here all the time, you guys were so totally into the show that we just had to join in. We brought some friends over too." He made an innocent face.

She looked them over carefully. "Yeah, sure, feel free to eat the paperwork," she said with a grin.

Shizune blinked but then panicked. "Ehhh, Tsunade-sama!"

Tsunade smiled. "What? That's the best way to get rid of paperwork."


End file.
